When You Can't Decide
Why is making a decision sometimes so difficult?
I used to be the worst at making decisions. I would labor for days over a major decision, talking it over with everyone I could in hopes of gaining insight and resolution—basically driving my friends and family (and myself!) crazy.
If only there was a built-in mechanism for making the right decision every time—wait—there is! It’s the Unconscious Mind.
The Unconscious Mind never shouts, she speaks in whispers.
The Unconscious Mind’s primary objective is to run and preserve the body. It also takes in and processes up to 20 million bits of information per second, compared to the Conscious Mind, which can only process up to 40 bits of information per second. That’s a big difference. Because the Unconscious Mind exists between the physical and spiritual realms and shares energy with the High Self, it has access to an extraordinary pool of knowledge, insight, wisdom and creativity.
So how can you take advantage of that pool of knowledge?
There are several ways, but the easiest way is to simply get quiet and listen. The Unconscious Mind never shouts, she speaks in whispers. You may have heard of the still, small voice—that’s your Unconscious Mind. It’s usually the very first response you get to a question, but often, your Conscious Mind butts in and takes over the dialogue.
Sometimes, the thing you’re contemplating is BIG, outside your comfort zone, or scary, and that fear can be mistaken for a NO WAY.
The Conscious Mind—sometimes referred to as Ego—loves to be right, and is the critical, judging part of your mind. The Conscious Mind needs clear answers and direction, and loves to obsess over things. She can sometimes act like a bully. The important thing is to listen to the first voice, the first answer.
If you’re struggling with a major decision, get yourself to a still, quiet place, take 3-4 deep Ha breaths (breathe in through your nose, for a count of 4, and out through your mouth for a count of 8). Imagine, or visualize yourself doing the thing you’re contemplating—play the whole scenario out in your mind. How do you feel? Excited, exhilarated? Or is there a heavy, dense, bag-of-sand-in-your-gut feeling? That’s your answer. Heavy, dense feelings are always a no.
Sometimes, the thing you’re contemplating is BIG, outside your comfort zone, or scary, and that fear can be mistaken for a NO WAY. But if you listen closely, you may find you’re feeling exhilarated and excited also, even though it’s scary as hell. That could still be a yes.
Another approach is to imagine yourself NOT doing the thing you’re contemplating. How does that feel? Being aware of that good ‘ole Fear of Missing Out, does it feel heavy? Or a huge relief? There’s your answer.
You can also journal out this visualization. Sometimes the act of writing bypasses the Conscious, judging mind by hooking into creative, right-brain sensibilities.
While some of us are very attuned to energy, others need more practice tuning in.
There are many ways the Unconscious Mind communicates with the body—in addition to what I’ve outlined above, which is a mechanism of the Unconscious Mind communicating through the heart / gut, you can use a pendulum, or kinesiology, which is the Unconscious Mind communicating through the autonomic nervous system. That’s a subject for another article, but for now, practice noticing how you’re feeling—in any given situation. It won’t be long before you’ll be able to quickly size up a social situation, people, opportunities and whether or not you should buy that house or take that job.
While some of us are very attuned to energy, like my 12-year old son, who can walk into a place and say ‘mom, there’s some weird energy in here’—others need more practice tuning in. Listening to your Unconscious Mind is the first step to developing a strong intuition, and with that, Bliss won’t be far behind.