If you’re wishing you had unshakable self-confidence, it may help to know that no one survives adolescence with confidence intact.
As a child, you have tons of confidence. This is because the Conscious, judging mind isn’t fully formed until the age of about eight. Before that, the Unconscious Mind is wide-open to all the sensory and emotional input from everyone on the outside. Because of this, the years before eight are critical to the formation of positive belief systems about yourself and your environment. Kids who grow up in supportive and loving homes are more likely to hold positive aspirations about their lives than those who grow up in poverty or in an overly critical or neglectful household.The Conscious Mind can be cruel. Not only does she judge herself, but she makes judgements of everyone else. Click To Tweet
At around age eight, you begin to become aware of what other people think of you. The Conscious Mind begins to form, and makes judgements about where you stand amongst your peers and how people might see you. The Conscious Mind can be cruel. Not only does she judge herself, but she makes judgements of everyone else.
Naturally, this part of the mind serves a purpose. It allows you to discriminate; it’s where your willpower lies, your imagination and it suggests and gives orders to your much more impressionable Unconscious Mind.
However, the Conscious Mind can be a crushing force to your self-confidence, through relentless judging, criticizing, second-guessing and over-thinking.
The good news is, you have control over your thoughts.
Many people think that voice in their head is who they are. It is not. You are much more vast and wonderful than the idle chatter in your head. You can use Conscious thought processes and practices to quiet this chatter, to change the dialogue, and to align yourself with higher vibrational thought patterns that will elevate your life.
Try these methods of supercharging your confidence:
Take 100% responsibility.
Guess what sister, you are 100% responsible for your own life, and everything in it. When you embrace this fact fully, you’ll actually feel a huge sense of relief—why? Because if you’re responsible, that means you have the power to change it. It means you have the power to create any life you wish. It means you can make decisions—daily decisions—that will get you whatever you want to be, do and have.
When you follow through with your highest intentions and take action on your goals, you’re telling your Unconscious Mind that you’re the kind of person who follows through. This creates trust in yourself, and, over time, self-confidence. Not to mention, you’ll make progress in your career, build up your savings account and maybe even get into the jeans you’ve been saving forever.
Practice radical honesty.
Radical honesty is when you tell the truth, even if it’s not favorable. This doesn’t mean you go around telling people their tie is crooked or they could do better with their makeup. It means you stop making excuses. Because we’re empathetic beings, we cringe at the thought of causing shame in another person—and rightly so, and we’ve become experts at covering our intentions with excuses. Excuses as to why we can’t go on the date when we’re not that into a person, or why we can’t attend an event when we’re craving alone time.
Also, we take on projects and responsibilities, when we really don’t have the capacity—all for the sake of saving someone else’s feelings—rather, what we project someone’s feelings to be.
Do things that scare you—often.
Doing things that scare you proves to yourself that you can do something you didn’t think you were capable of. These small successes or wins build confidence quickly, and before long you’ll feel as if there’s nothing you can’t accomplish. As Sheryl Sandberg says “Fortune does favor the bold and you’ll never know what you’re capable of if you don’t try.”
Use positive affirmations.
Using affirmations is a way to train your Conscious Mind to think in more positive-present ways. It also communicates directly with the Unconscious Mind, because she’s always eavesdropping on your thoughts, words and actions. A couple of tips: Always use positive, present-tense language. Your Unconscious Mind does not process negatives, so a phrase like: I don’t want to live in poverty is understood as: I want to live in poverty. Switch it up to: I now live in complete abundance, making $10,000 per month easily and effortlessly.
Make it believable. Your Unconscious Mind is smart, and she knows a million dollars per month might not be reality. Also, it’s a challenge to imagine what living in that kind of wealth would be like. Make your affirmations big, but believable.
Be of service to others.
Studies have shown that people are happiest when they can be of service to others. Giving someone a gift they can’t return provides a boost in good vibes that’s hard to match in any other way. Even witnessing someone else practicing a random act of kindness provides that boost in positive emotion.
Keep a small group of uplifting friends.
Gathering with people who lift you up is crucial to living a life of connectedness and fulfillment. It may even be time to let go of toxic relationships that drain your energy and leave you feeling less than confident. Studies show people who live the longest are those who have a close network of people—whether friends or family—with whom they gather often. Lonely people die sooner.
I hope this helps elevate your sense of self-confidence. With just a few tools, practiced often, you’ll be on your way to a life of Confidence , Clarity and Joy. If you haven’t joined us yet in the Bliss Lounge on Facebook, please do, we’d love to meet you there!